- lOsT -

i am so useless...i am lost again..total lost...totally cannot control wat i feel..wat i think...n even wat i do..y ?? y ?? y ?? the questions keep appearing on my mind..but no answers for it..not at all !!!

in this moment...i feel like me myself just alone standing in the world..nobody cares me..nobody understands me..nobody knows how pain i feel...i am lost...really lost..i dun even know wat will i be at the next second..never ever felt so pain in my life b4..though i faced some painful incident b4...but this time really deeply pain into my heart...my soul..my everything..i dun even know if i can cure someday...maybe not...maybe it's the pain for my whole life ??

still have to smile..i told myself..be matured...i told myself...be understanding..i told myself...be tough..i told myself..let go..i told myself..but still feeling so terrible..just like living in the hell..how long it takes time to suffer me ?? how many times i have to cry ?? how many morning i have to feel suffer like hell at the very 1st moment i wake up ?? i hate these !!!! i really really hate these !!! i feel like my heart dun have any power at all..even a small stone can break it easily..even i am smiling..the heart is stil crying...cant do well in everything i do..cant concentrate in everything that i do..cant breath well..cant sleep well..cant eat well..cant think well..cant smile well...cant study well...cant do well in everything i do !!! pls..wat can help me ?? need not to recover..just wan to feeling better...even a bit..even a bit that's enough for me d..i am begging..begging for everything..every prays...every helps...

i know i keep suffering here also no point..but i really dunno wat else i can do..i just wan to express my feelings..i need an ear..too much of feelings happen in my heart at the same time..i dun even can write it all..can express it all..but i can truely clearly feel pretty pain ...the deepest pain that i ever feel...some ppl said..let go..time can help u...i always told myself to believe to the magic of time..but this time i am wondering..is time can really help me ?? i dunno...i dun have answer for everything..just keep thinking..keep thinking..though i ask me myself dun think anymore !!!

it's terrible..it's horrible...it's the collapse n sux period for my life !!! but i still cant forget...i will never forget...every little things of us for my whole life.... :'(

- 平凡 -

不知道从什么时候开始，我渐渐的觉得平凡很重要。

对，我是平凡的。
我不是什么了不起的人，也不是什么特别的人物。
或许，只有在我家人和关心我的人的眼中，我才是有些特别的。
可是，往往有些事情是很无奈的。
当我们拥有很平凡的幸福时，或许不懂得去珍惜，
那一刻，我或许不想要自己，我总觉得自己可以更不平凡一些的。

然而，当渐渐成长的时候，
我才忽然醒悟，平凡就是简简单单的，那原来也是另一种幸福。
淡淡的，可是或许可以很长，很久。

于是我说，
simple is all i want ..........

- sTuPiD JiE JiE BeinG tHeRe -

Jie Jie is not a name...it's the way i call my sister...i call her 'Jie' lar..sometimes call her 'ah fui' as her name is Then Siew Fui..she is the 1 who be there for me always...though sometimes she make me damn angry to slap her away...hehe...

she is the closer to me among my siblings..maybe because of the age ?? she is 4 years older than me...since my elder sis 8 years older than me n my brother 10 years older than me..however..she is the 1 who quarrel with me the most..even a small thing we can argue like hell...huh...too bad lar...

she is not in the "original recipe"..hehe.. she is "hot n spicy"..indeed..i think many ppl have that impression to her..but actually she is kind n good if u'r 'ngam key' with her..like me..need not to spend even a cent when going out with her..hehe...unless we r argue lar..lol...

hm...too many life stories among us..as we gone through so many things in past 21 years...sometimes it's undescribeable..unwritten..but i know..n i hope...even how bad we quarrel..even how serious we argue..even how harm we fight...we r still being there always for each other...n to care for each other..take care jie jie... :)

- bLuE mOuSe + mOuSe PaD -

yeah...finally i bought my new mouse + mouse pad...hehe..so many ppl made compaints to my old mouse d..sometimes totally out of control 1...

today i bought a samsung optical mouse n a blue mouse pad...hehe...hm..i am not addict to samsung's products...however..i choose this mouse just because i love blue colour toooooooo much !!! hehe...this mouse with blue colour ma..so without any hesitation...i took this mouse n paid for it...then i bought a mouse pad...today only i know it's not easy to find a mouse pad without cartoon huh...haha...i went for few shops...all mouse pad with cartoons 1..i hardly get any mouse pad which is without cartoon...but finally..i got my beautiful blue mouse pad in a shop...hehe...like it very much...blue blue colour is with me ~ ^^

hehe...my blue blue mouse...how good if the light is blue colour also hor...^^

nah ~ this is my beautiful blue blue mouse pad...like it !! like it !! like it !! hehe..^^

- wHaT a TiReD + bUsY DaY 4 mE -

hooo.....'golden thursday' again...hehe...y i say so ?? cos my class timetable is empty on every thusday...unless got additional class lo..aiksss...

woke up today..there is still a bad feelings..huh..i hate the moment i woke up..will think bout the bad things..but then i on my pc..then chatting n surfing around after washing my face n all while waiting for my roommates to wake up..of cos i am not the last 1 who wake up..haha..then cook maggi + tungku for me myself n frens..then we going out in a gang of 5 persons for our today activities after bathing...

we took the lrt to pudu bus station to buy the ticket 1st..after that..we decided to go 'chi cheung gai'..but on the half way..dunno y suddenly changed the mind to go sg.wang..ah tat ask whether if we can walk there...then i ask..'tat..how long we have to walk ar ? ' ah tat said.."around 10 minutes from here i think.." then i said.."ok lo..since it's not too hot..let's go lar.."

then..we started to walk...walk..walk...20 minutes passes..and sooooo lucky that it's start raining...my god..si ah tat !!! cheat us again huh..said 10 minutes but we had already walked for 20 minutes also cant c any part of sg.wang pun !! then 1 of us ask.." is this the correct way to sg.wang?"...everybody kept quiet..then we laugh..n i said.."wrong direction ??!! huh..who tell me this then i kill who now !! "..then we laugh again..n walk...walk..walk...the rain become heavy after that..we got no choice...still have to walk...haha..n finally we reach sg.wang but my green shirt had became bubble style..n jy + winnie's shoes got 'banjir' d...

what's the next ?? we r still enjoyed our activities today though we look quite wretched..hehe..n 1 of my Tampin buddy sms me n told me a BIG GOOD NEWS !!! but i cannot tell now...hehe...will tell later lar..it's not the time yet...n finally now..i back to my 'house' d lo...n going out with sis soon for dinner..

hm..what a busy + tired day for me..but i enjoy it very much..though have to walk for so long...haha..but i dun mind..i just like to hang out with gang of friends very much..at least...i am happy at the moment !! ^_^

- hOuSe -

ya....house...i am staying at the 'house' from sunday night to friday now...my house at pj..section 14...menara jaya condominium..

this is not my home..it's house...i only got a home sweet home...in TAMPIN !! but i am leaving home..for my final year degree....i am learning to like here... :)

yeah...here are the view of my house....

- tHaNks...KiaN... -

ops....pretty girl appear in my blog ?? haha...yeah !! this is my super close fren...wong seok chian !!! i used to call her ah kian lar...knew her since i was 7 years old..already 10+ years we being close fren to each other...

she came to c me today..from upm...by ktm..then lrt...finally we met...:)

feel touching to see her...she is always be there when i am feeling down or happy since so many years ago...of coz i will never leave her alone also lar...hehe...

thanks kian...i feel warm to see u...though i am still not fully good..but i feel better to c u n i got an invisible power from u...thanks for being there always...muaksss..... :)

- Full Stop.. -

hm....too bad...i had already sad for few days...yeah..it's too many days for me...my fren said...wat's wrong with u ?? ur impression to us is always laughing n smiling 1...how come u feel so sad ??? hm...because i am not happy lo...

but...i think it's the time for me to put a full stop for my unhappiness...almost 1 week...i am feeling down...but the time is still running...everything is still going as usual..except...i din laugh sincerely for few days d...come on...ah mei !!! how come u be like this ??? no no.....

so then...i decided to act like nothing again...this is the way i use to hide my unhappiness always...but sometimes we have no choice...other than keep smiling though feeling bad..yes...i know...n i feel that my heart is still not fully recover...n i am still not really happy...but i have to smile...have to laugh...as wat i do always...then i will look better...when i look better..i believe that i will feel better soon...though at the moment i smile..my heart is crying... :)

this is y some ppl tought i am tough ?? no..i am not tough...at all...as wat seok chian said..i act like the tougher among us..but i am not...however...we have to be brave sometimes...to put a full stop for the unhappiness...n the life is still going on...

- tOmOrrOw iS aNotHeR DaY -

- FiNaLLy....aGaiN... -

finally....i had already finished to transfer all my friendster blog to here...have to..have to...cos i am feeling heavy to leave them alone there...hehe...

start blogging again...with nothing ony my mind now...errrr.....it's an ending for friendster blog...but it's a starting for my blog here.....:)

- i WrOtE a sOnG tOdaY - (transfered from friendster blog, 27/9/05)

ya...i wrote a song today...but it's not complicated at the moment...i love this song..because i wrote it depends on my mood..my state of mind...n every word is wat i am thinking n how i feel...

i think...almost around 1 year i din wrote any song...i like to write songs during my secondary school life..to express everything i feel...besides...i did wrote some dharma songs also for the buddhist camp n the competition...after that..i stopped..because i have no idea to write any song..

but today..i write again...write a song from the bottom of my heart for a person...i used to write songs for him since long time ago..but he wouldn't know...i think....huh...nvm...at least..i know wat i am thinking..i dun lie to me myself anymore...n i know..wat should i do...maybe..let go is always the best way between us ?? :'(


只要你快乐.....

the song of mine....from the bottom of my heart....

- tOuGh - (transfered from friendster blog, 26/9/05)

am i tough ?? this is a question that always on my mind especially when i am feeling down...
i dunno...am i tough ?? i look tough..indeed..but some1 said..i look tough from outside...but actually i am not as tough as i act...another 1 said..sometimes i am tough..sometimes not...
yes...i am tough...but not in everything..in facing some problems..i can be very tough n very calm to settle the problems steadily...however..in something else..i am just very weak to control my emotion..is every1 like this ? every single person got their own weak part ?? when the situation touch the part..the person may be collapsed ?? i am wondering....

i have to admit that i am not tough sometimes..i hardly control my emotion when i face the particular problem...why...i dunno...i hope so i can control it well...y some ppl tought i am soooo tough ?? maybe bcos..i act like very tough ?? even if i am sad...even if i am down..even if i am feeling so bad...i will still act like nothing in front of ppl..though ppl may know there is something wrong with me...but my impression for them is always nothing...is it ???
i am not..i am so tired of this..i hate me myself to be like this...y i have to act like nothing ?? y dun i admit that i am damn sad n pain ?? y dun i tell that i got no mood to do anything at the moment ?? huh....i am damn tired of these !!!!

am i tough ?????!!!!!!!!

- sPeeChLesS - (transfered from friendster blog,22/9/05)

this is the heart at the moment...
but it have to be fine 1 day later...be tough...girl..be tough....
u'r great...cos u'r not lying..u'r brave..cos u'r honest...
dun feel sad n pain..mei..even if u'r alone...

u'r still the special n the most....
even i know...perhaps i am not anymore....

- 什么都舍得 - (transfered from friendster blog, 22/9/05)

到这里 只能送你到这里
是我没勇气 陪你走下去 没有勇气 对不起 我害怕看见你的背影

不哭泣 说好谁都不哭泣
是我不争气 我的眼泪多么不争气 对不起 答应我你要照顾自己

不要你什么 只要你快乐 再多的辛苦也都是值得
值得的是 回忆是一辈子 我在你心里住过一阵子

不要你什么 只要你记得 谁曾是你最依偎的那个
那个人是我 也许走远了
为了看你多一次微笑 我什么都舍得

我什么都舍得 ....................

- HeaRt - (transfered from friendster blog, 21/9/05)

this is my heart at the moment...
no colour..only black n white...cos i am feeling empty...
heart....
it's hanging...
it has no wings...n it cant found the place to stop n stay...
heart says....it's tired...it's seeking for happiness...
where is the happiness gone ?? they dun live here anymore ??
yes...it's there....
but nobody dare to take it...morality and feeling is fighting there...
who will be the winner ??
not important....
cos i am lost at the moment...to seek for an exit.....
but...it's full because of something else....
some1 says..there is a space in everybody's heart..
but then....
are we waiting for some1 to make it full ??
or we are be doomed to feel hurt n empty when the heart is hanging around....

- EmPtY - (transfered from friendster blog,20/9/05)

At this moment..my mind is still empty…ya..i am not really happy indeed… I dunno wat’s going on with me..perhaps..i know..i cant stand with the loneliness which spread all over me..n I cried stupidly… I said..i wan to go back home..bcoz of homesick ?? maybe not really…I feel like going home everytime when I get hurts…I need cares from the ppl I care..n when loneliness comes to me..i feel like me myself standing at the town alone..n nobody cares for me…going back home..i think of this…at least..i know..my family members will always care for me…in everything I do… I cant walk…I can talk..i can smile..n I can even laugh steadily like usual with my frens…but when the loneliness arrives to me..i stop walking..stop talking..stop smiling n stop laughing…I am lost at the moment…where I just feel like crying…n I cry…to release the unhappiness that stay in my heart… I am tired…n feeling headache man..maybe cos of not enough sleep…but I am feeling better now..after the talk..after the thinking…n after the crying…perhaps…I should stop thinking..it’s hard..but I got to do..cos I dun wan some1 to c me like this..n makes him feel sorry n stress… eventhough I dunno when the loneliness will come to me again…n I will feelings lost n crying stupidly again… But at this moment…I told…or force me myself dun to think anything else…just take a good rest…cos nothing for me to wait til morning again..hehe..good nitezzzz…and…let it be…………………………and i hope i can do it....

- wHaT dA HeLL - (transfered from friendster blog,19/9/05)

i was just sitting in front of my pc..loking at the monitor..i dun talk..i dun do anything else except writing this blog page..there is too many things on my mind..but i dunno wat am i thinking..it's just like a blank...but blur...there is the tears just in my eyes...but i am trying not to cry...i feel damn...i feel like crying n escaping...escaping from what ?? i dunno...that's just a feeling...
i am blur...i am weird..i am stupid...i am silly..i am bad....too many feelings inside my heart now..i'm not able to describe it by words...i feel sorry...sorry to u..sorry to her...sorry to him...n sorry for some others else..maybe i shouldn't feel sorry cos i did nothing wrong..but this is feelings..it's uncontrollable...i feel like missing...missing something that's very close to me..that be my side for a long time but i am not dare to touch it...i feel escaping...escape from what i also dunno..maybe i scare everything will out of my control...maybe everything will happen in too nature...i scare...n i escape ?? i feel like crying..maybe bcos of i found back something that i lost long time ago but i am not dare to face it..n i cry...cos i said b4..i scared ppl treat me too good...then everything will out of control....
i ask...down + void + loneliness + helplessness + vexation = ?
nobody can answers me.........
i know how to solve it...i got the formula...but i know i am not going..n i am not dare to use this method to solve my problem...it's shit feelings...just like a big stone pressing in my heart...i cant even breath well...what da hell...wat's going on....
yes..u'r right...it's silly...crazy n not a good timing indeed..... :'(

- ForGiVinG NeeDs tImE..bUt It MaKes HaPpY - (transfered from friendster blog,19/9/05)

I learned this sentence recently..=)
sometimes I really feel it’s tired when u hate somebody..unless the person is keep on disgusting me after I angry n throw my temper to her/him..if not..i will usually forget it one day later…
I had angry at somebody for monthsss….but finally I feel to forgive n let go everything just at a moment..y ?? I dunno..maybe when I knew more..i am able to c clearer..n many things suddenly become not important anymore..or maybe..i knew more..i feel the person is pity also..so I decided to let go ?? I dunno..i dun wan to think bout that..i just like to do whatever I feel that I wan to do at the moment..
But for some other ppl..i may never forgive for a long period..like the bitch..oh..did u ever heard bout the bitch story ?? but I am not going to tell here..hahaha..i am so angry when talk about the stories lar...1st time she came n disturb me..back stabbing me..ok..it’s ok..i was angry..i admit..but then I forget it easily just in few days..then the 2nd,3rd,4th…..times came..she keep on disturbing me..back stabbing me..n the most disgusted 1 is she told a story that she created by herself to the 1 I care very much..i got so angry..how come such stupid bitchy appear in my life ?? ooo…I think I did something really wrong in the last life maybe…huh ….dun wanna get angry bcos of her now lar..wasting my time..hanyan told me..the more u care..the more she happy..i dun wan to let her happy..lalalalalala..i dun angry ~ bluek ~
Usually I dun say I forgive somebody lar..i prefer to forgive something..let go..then everything is fine..ya..i know maybe others dun even care whether I forgive or not..but I care..ok..when there is something related to my life..i care !! cos the main purpose of my life is I wan to live happily..=)
Forgiving really needs time lar..better dun think about that when u’r still feeling angry..just let it be..n when u think back 1 day later..u may be able to forgive everything..cos time passed..thing passed..it’s a process of forgiving..but when it happens..it makes happy..just like u release a burden that u kept for long time in the life..then the life will be more beautiful…yeah…enjoying life ya…^_^

- 15/09/05 - (transfered from friendster blog, 19/9/05)

Huh…finally I got my pc here…luckily my sis send me the pc..if not I think maybe I already dead here..some1 asked me..how’s life in kl ?? I said..so far so good..some1 asked me..everything ok there ?? I said..it’s ok..cos ok n like is different..life is not fun here..or maybe can say..life is fun but I dun like the life in kl..i know..kl is not my place..i hate the place that’s not peaceful enough..
Talk bout the 1st day I be here..ermm..i mean the 1st day that I really live here..n start my life here..i came here with ah sung..by train..we talk to each other in the train..then v reach kl sentral..by lrt to
asiajaya..then by putra bus to metrojaya that side..hanyan n his fren..gam mou then came n took dinner together with me..when I walk across the city..i look at the surrounding…

When I look at the buildings that surrounded me..i know that’s not my home..
When I saw the car drove so fast like going hell..i know that’s not my home..
When the nasi goreng is not tasted at all..i know that’s not my home..

There is a strong feelings of leaving home at the moment..i know I got to start my new life here...... ( to be continued )

- nO tItLe - (transfered from friendster blog, 19/9/05)

Huh..i am here again..it’s a long period since the last update of my blog..this is a boring Saturday..n so sorry to say that I am gonna leave my home sweet home n go kl tomolo evening..huh..i have to go..yeah..i know..
Finally I had finished my 2 years degree in Stamford college malacca..n now moving to
Stamfordcollege petaling jaya for my final year of the degree..time really flies man..i will be a working adult next year…woo ~ cant believe it..
5/9/05 was the 1st day I step into scpj..orientation..yup..that’s a boring orientation lar..sitting there for whole day..but t got nothing except the forms n timetable..hehe..then next Monday..12/5/05..i am going to have my 1st class in scpj..i hope everything will be good…huh..I hate complains…but I am the one who always start to complain when I feel boring..hehe..so I hope there will be nothing for me to compain on the coming days…
No pc for me for the 1st few days…sob sob..cos I will go to kl by train tomolo..cannot bring my pc..have to wait for my sis to bring the pc for me on Tuesday or Wednesday..then no internet for temporary..have to wait for the company to come n fix it..aiyo..that’s y I hate to move to a new environment..aiksssss…
Opss…k k..i start complaining again..yeah..cos I am feeling so boring now..n the connection is very bad !!! keep on disconnecting..hate hate hate !!! huh..for me..boring = crazy... @_@

- ReViVeD - (transfered from friendster blog,19/9/05)

wow...that's a lots of new blogs recently man..this interest me to start blogging again..haha..since my blog is halfly dead here...lol...nvm..i am here again to make it revive...it's still alive !!!!
n i am start a new life here...in PJ...maybe...i can have more stories in my life to share ?? hehe..i am just wodering..... ^_^

- bOrinG - (transfered from friendster blog,19/7/05)

boring boring boring !!!!! oh my god...wat a boring day for me..gonna be crazy d nah...huh...
woke up early in this morning but the class was cancelled as i drove from tampin to mlk....*^*^%$%*&*%$%$&^(*)*&)!+#&@*&(*$@ !!!!!! i felt so hard to woke up in the morning man..sob sob ~
some people was returned home when they knew class has been cancelled..but i feel it's wasted..i came from so far ma..hor...hehe..so i staying here..for nothing..sitting in the lab..n talking nonsense here..there was only around 10 persons in the lab..5 chinese..2 indian..1 malay..1 indonesian and 1 nigerian..haha..international meeting is having here ?? it's just a small computer lab..but there are people from 5 different countries/regions at here...
still boring...jieying n winnie is sitting beside me..i dunno what r they doing..but they seem like busy searching something..i tried my best to control myself..so that i wont disturb them..haha..it's difficult man..
boring boring boring...i really got nothing to do here..thinking whether i should stop controlling myself then go n diturb winnie n jieying or return home...huh..it's a boring morning for me !!! sob sob ~

- LiaR - (transfered from friendster blog,12/7/05)

Liar always thought he’she is clever..this is wat I learned..n wat I observed from some people..
Last time I met a big liar..u may ask..how do u know whether he is lie ? yes..i know..n I sure..cos I know the thruth..when he said something that is totally different as wat I know,i saw n I heard..is that a lie ? such as..u saw a guy fetching a girl..sent her back to home at around 1am..but he told u he already slept at 12 something..is that a lie ?? it is a lie !! or I am blind..okok..it’s just an example..take it easy man..
When I know some1 is lie to me..he/she will suddenly become very ugly in my eyes..i dunno y..when I realize some1 is lie to me..everything he/she said..he/she do..i will suspect the truthfulness of it..
Recently I met a big liar again..although he is not so close to me..but I still know everything he lie..same thing..we knew the truth b4 we ask him..then he still keep telling the lie..exepting this..he still censure at us..he said we r smearing him..wat da hell..then he suddenly become the most lousy guy that I ever met in this century..
Liar always thought they r clever..but they r not..a lie that given to guess may not harm..but a lie with evil intentions may hurt + harm some1 deeply..especially when u lie to the 1 who love u..n the 1 u love.. sometimes when u hurt some1 who is important to u..u directly hurt u urselt at the same time..bad lie is a devil..it may damage ur happiness...it works...

- sMiLe fOr u - (transfered from friendster blog,5/7/05)

these smiling ballons are especially for u..hope they can brighten up ur days n bring u into the sky..i believe i can fly ~ *singing*...^^

- tO mY VerY cLoSe FriEnD - (transfered from friendster blog, 5/7/05)

do u know i am talking to u ?? i bet u know..n i know..thousand words are useless for u now..maybe wat u need all is only an embrace..i can give u..my dear friend..i will always be there for u..i'd been there for 10+ years ago..100 years later i will still by ur side..i will never leave u alone..
i found no words to describe our friendship...or maybe..wat between us is more than a friend..sometimes i feel that u'r 1 of my family member..u need time..u said..yes i know..we r not going to talk n think back anything about the sadness..look forward..there is a brightness way for us..n look at me..i am stand again from the tumble..u can do it..i know..cos u'r tough enough..everyone of us in our geng r tough always..right ? we can go through any troubles n hurts..cos we have each other to be there always..to share their times + hugs + cares + everything..right ?
i feel speechless to u when i know u'r sad..but u must believe me...believe to the magic of time..nothing can fight with the time..how sad u'r..one day it will become only a story or memory in ur life..i said..dun think back anymore..i't different now..i said..there are many 'why' on ur mind now..i know..but just let it be..cos it's not important anymore..i said..i feel love dearly to c u sad + cry..but 1 thing i must tell is...u'r not alone always..never ever..think of us..n i hope it will brighten ur life..
we was huging to each other n cry..i dunno whether my hug make u feel warmer or not..but it's my sincerity..my love..my cares to u..i cry not bcos i wan to make u worry..it's bcos i feel not worth it !! n i feel pretty distress that time..but it's ok..i prefer u cry n say everything out..rather then u keep it alone it ur heart..we r huging to each other..we r crying together..i know that's our friendship..from there i know wat's a friend for n how important u'r as a close friend to me..4 of us is worrying bout u..non of us like to c u to be hurted..but when things happened..just accept it..let it be..n let bygones be bygones..cos we believe u will be better day after day...
be there for u always..i love u..my dear friend...

- i LoVe u !!! - (transfered from friendster blog,3/7/05)

1.7.05...this date become special to me now..finally i met my dearest leehom at genting..yeah ~ i went to leehom's concert...it is a wonderful concert..i got crazy in the concert man..i stand at the chair n scream like crazy..wow..it's really fun...for me...leehom got a excellent performance in the concert..his performance included sing + dance + piano + alto fiddle + drum + violin...
the concert start at 8.20pm..when the musci started..that's the time we started to scream..the dancers came out 1st n then leehom came to the stage from the top of the stage..yeah..he hang with a steel wire..with the 'white horse prince costume'..oh my god !! i gonna faint down that time..
although i bought the ticket of RM90..i still can c leehom very clear man..cos my fren..seong yee bought the telescope..oh dear..from there i can c leehom's muscle..he is so strong..n i saw he drink mineral water..i saw his handsome face..he act up when he play piano..n u know wat ?? i saw his sweat...oh no no no no no..i cant stop thinking of all these...
i saw leehom's performances for many years...but this is the 1st time is aw he dance for so many songs..the part i can forget is he dance at the piano..wow...he is borned to be a performer...there are many performaces else in da concert..it's really worth..i paid RM90 but i got more than that from the concert..it's really a lost if u missed it..oh oh ~ i will never forget it..the moment i got crazy..it became my unforgettable n memorable nite..

i love u !!! leehom...c u again in da next concert...muaksssss ~

p/s: want to c the pic i took during the concert ?? click here... :)

- tHanKs 4 BeinG tHeRe - (transfered from friendster blog,13/6/05)

Huh..b4 this I was so excited to look forward 4 my holiday..finally I am in da holiday now..but feel bit boring man..i got nothing to do at home except watching movie + online..my god..well..i admit that I cant sit quietly at home..everyday..every hour..every minute..even every second..i am thinking wat can I do during this holiday…
Hoo ~ I decided to visit Cameron highlands..it was a long period since my last visit to
CH..arrr..almost 9 years d..i was standard 6 that time..visited CH n some other places with my primary schoolmates..hm..i am wondering how r them going on..it was a great chances for friendship after primary school..i stil remembered when we were in primary..6 other gals n I were very close n we stayed back after school almost everyday n played together..we were wong seok chian..mok fei ling..lam hui ching..lim fong jun..chong kiat ai..chan wei kuen n i..mok studied in smti after primary n fong jun in ssms..some of us in same school but different classes..then our friendship started to change..may be we dunno how to remain our friendship since we were so young that time..n until today..i am still quite close with seok chian..kiat ai n wei kuen..that’s sad to say that the friendship between other frens n I had faded..but I have to admit that..however..1 thing very important is..that was a very sweet memory 4 me..we may be speechless now..or dun even contact to each other..but I will always keep the memories between us in my heart..
May be that’s wat we call ‘grow up’ ? life is like that..full with vicissitudes..different stories..things..memories n even people..every matter shoud be appreciated..because it create me on today..i feel thankful..to my families..my friends..n everyone who ever appear in my life n brought the stories to me..u’r great !! if u never ever think to harm n hurt me..thanks 4 being there..^_^

- bLesSinG - (transfered from friendster blog, 5/6/05)

all the best ...good luck...try hard...ganbatte kudasai...jia you...
i am here blessing n praying for me myself...because i am going to sit for d exam tomolo n coming friday....using red colour for my fonts..red really brings luck ?? haha...okok..i din prepared well...but i hope my result will not be very bad...huh...everybody pls blessing n praying for me...thanks a lot...i need wishes as much as possible this time...cos i dun study much for d exam...n i hope miracle will happen to me in this exam...hahaha....ok...something wrong with me ~
anyway...all da best !!!! and OKOK !!! double ok for me myself ~ ^_^

- MuMbLinG - (transfered from friendster blog,30/5/05)

I know I shouldn’t be here now…cos I still got works there waiting me to finish it..but what to do ? i get stuck when i am trying to finish my IM assignment..sob sob...i cannot do Q4...who can help me ?? i will bring him/her for a wonderful meal...
i am damn !! i did nothing in the past weekend...actually i should do revision for my IBC test 2 n finish my IM assignment...but i did non of them...i cant finish the IM n i dun even start study my IBC yet...oh my god !! i think i will get a bad result for my test...but y...i am just feeling too lazy to do it now..i awn to sleep...i wan to watch tv...i wan to go out...but i gonna stay at home n thinking of my works while i cant do it....sigh sigh sigh....it's really a bad mood for me...huh...i shout...but shout for nothing...n i cry....but cry also no cure....bullshit !!!!! then i do stupid face....as da photo i show below...hehe...i like to do stupid faces...cos i tot myself as a stupid at da moment...n sometimes...stupid gains their happiness easily...bcos they r simple n pure.. i just like to be a stupid sometimes...look ugly?? yeah...i know..but... who cares !!!

- anGrY - (transfered from friendster blog,29/5/05)

i am angry !!!! last nite i stay at home n staring at the tv for 5 hours !!!!! u know y ?? cos wang leehom is one of the candidate for best male singer !!! ok..i am talking about the golden melody awards of taiwan ....
finally the program came to the last part...jay chou n karen mok are the guest for this award..i was praying for leehom...yes...i am crazy...but so wat ?? i just like to do watever i like..that's my authority to like any1 that i like..i just like to be crazy for him..ops..n of coz daniel wu...
that's a loud voice for leehom to get the prize..even jay chou also teasing him as the same way as wat we think...then the si karen mok read out the result...she said...(of coz in mandarin)..the winner is...' wang li..'...then she stop...while every1 tot leehom is the winner n shout for that...then karen mok said...'xing'....damn !!!! wang li xing ?? wat da hell...yes...i admit that wang li xing is also one of the singer who got good performance n can sing very well..but the problem is...wat da hell to karen mok !!!! she dun even can pronouns the word properly..the winner is 'huang li xing'..but not 'wang li xing' ler !!! taiwan ppl very attentive to this 1..how can she make this mistake in taiwan function ???!!! really make me disappointed about her...she should pronouns properly since she know the name for this 2 candidates are similar...
huh...i feel bit nauseated when i saw her mtv in astro today...huh...she sudn't do this wat...cannot always 'gong gong' like that 1...make ppl get shame bcos of her mistake ~
huh....nvm...the best is still the best...this can be proven by how ppl like him...yeah...LEEHOM IS THE BEST !!!

- MuMbLinG - (transfered from friendster blog,26/5/05)

Gosh…wat a busy + tired day for me…I feel like going to collapse after busy for few weeks…
My class start on 8.30am today…start my 1st presentation today for IM class…it is still ok though I dun think I got prepared well..hehe…
Then we went to bukit beruang for
Wilsonchicken rice…haha..feel weird ?? we go bukit beruang from scm but have chicken rice as our lunch there…wooo~ nono…bcos the shop we decided to go was closed ler….very happy today during lunch bcos I am not the last person to finish my meal…hehe…june teck’s gf was took lunch together with us…omg…she is slower than me…next time wan to date her more for lunch d..so that those uncles aunties wont complain about my speed to have my lunch…haha…
After lunch..we returned to scm for our 2nd presentation today…suddenly the lec came in n ask some Q….then she started to throw her temper to us as we dun book the projector for presentation…wat da hell…that is not our job man ~ we cant even fill in the form to book those things..but no choice…we have to bear on her bcos she is the 1 who give marks for us..she satirized us as the degree students who dun even know have to book projector for presentation…hello ~~~ we have no authority to do all that know…damn damn damn !!!! it was really bad when she blamed us for that…but luckily it became better after that…n quite smooth for our presentation…huh..actually she got her merits 1…but the only thing is she always ‘pusing pusing’ lo…hehe…
After that..we still have to go 4 a test !!! can u imagine how busy we r ?? sigh…when I got the test paper..the Qs r still ok 4 me as I was read through the notes b4…but I dunno y…I cant think well at the moment..i just wrote whatever appeared on my mind..huh…tired d na...no more energy to care bout the marks d…hoho ~ wat I keep thinking that moment is….finish the test a.s.a.p so that I cant return home earlier….
And now…I am sitting at home…feel tired n sleepy…but wat ? I still have to do revision for Malaysian studies !!! wat da hell man…I still haveto sit for an exam tomolo...huh…then I starting to count…I have to ‘suffer’ 4 around 2 more weeks…until my last exam paper on 11/6…oh my god !!!! but still..i have to follow it…I know mumbling here no cure…n I know this is wat a student’s life as….but I still wan to write sumthing here…maybe it can help me to feel worthful during my holiday when I read this…..haha….my holiday….waiting 4 me…I am coming….
But now…I got to continue my revision…sob sob ~ :’(

Look at my black circle...like panda ??? look like ghost maybe...:(

- LucKiLy i aM BusY - (transfered from friendster blog,19/5/05)

Huh…I am not happy these few days…something bad happened to me..n I am still trying to handle n settle it as well as I can…heart told me it is tired…n a bit pain…to face all these stupid rubbish things…however…life still going on..no matter wat happen in da life…the earth is still turning…n the clock is never stop…
Since few years ago..i learnt that I have to find sumthing to make me myself busy when I am not happy..i am just thinking too much all da times..luckily I am damn busy these few days..til I have no time to think about the unhappy incident…n no time to talk about it…
Sometimes we can really do nothing when things happened…just let it be…cos we will never know wat will happen tomolo…sometimes surprises n happiness always come after the sadness…rite ? hehe…. I have to be tough !!!! cos I look tough….but I am easy to be hurt…sob sob ~
Huh !!!! who cares ???!!!! life is like that n we r usually grew from these happiness…sadness….+++…..in da life !!!! come on friends…I hope nothing can defeat me~ hehe….OK OK !!! double OK for me myself !! cheers !!!!

yeah....i wan to be as tough as powerpuff girls !!!

- BusY + TiReD + sTuPiD + nOnSenSe - (transfered from friendster blog,19/5/05)

Finally I back to here again, with my tired n exhausted body. I had already busy for few days to rush for my works in college. Gosh……
Sigh…I still left 1 more assignment to submit..2 presentations to go…2 tests to sit…n some examinations to take.. sob sob.. what a terrible coming days for me… :(
I know..i know grumble no cure…but I still have to write down these nonsense here to reduce the stress I face… I was presented in a topic of commit suicide…many ppl suicide bcos of depression…n where is depression come from ?? come from the stress we face in our life…if u cannot find a way to reduce it..it will be accumulated n finally u will feel depress n kill u urself !! so do voice out n do sumthing to make urself relax…never ever kill urself..cos that’s a most stupid n irresponsible way to solve the problems…..
Wait wait wait…wat am I talking about ?? haha…sumthing wrong with me..suddenly I become a counsellor d hor.. huh…my goodness…I am really sux in creating a blog page….
Suddenly I starting to think…if one day I really so stupid n trying to kill myself…i will choose the method that jump from a high place…not necessary a building but anything high…cos sometimes I like strong winds…some1 ever told me that…when the winds blow against me..that’s the time he missing me..til the last minutes in my life..i would just like to be together with the winds I like…n must choose a high place that enuf for me to die immediately after I reach the floor..if not I will feel pain like hell..n suffer like shit…lol…
Errrrr…..wat I am talking here just like the deathbed words of a suicidal b4 he/she die ?? hahaha…no no no ~~ dun worry… this will never happen to me !!! NEVER EVER ~~~
I am enjoying my life very much…n I have to cherish my life always…cos my life is given by my dearest parents…n 1 thing very important for me…thing never goes stop once u’r still in the world…n u’r not lose at all cos u dunno the final result yet….
Life is like a dream..with lots of miracles..memories..stories..n everything + everyone u meet in the life…though sometimes we may face with those unhappy incidents…but how bad it is…It will pass n u’r still wat u’r….believe me…cos this is wat I never learnt b4…but I learnt it now…:)

- DaMn ! wHeRe iS mY PosT ? - ( transfered from friendster blog, 9/5/05)

sob sob ......i lost my post...where is it?? where is it ?? huh...suddenly lost niao de ? damn damn damn....(ops..mama said have to be softer~haha..)
aiii.no choice...i have to write another 1..since i am so free here...having a class in lab but i am checking friendster..wondering around...i asked myself...wat for i come to college today ?? weeeeeeeeee.....i dunno...maybe just for the attendance ?? hehe...yup..i got my attendence,indeed...but wat i learnt ?? nothing...i dunno wat happen to me today...something wrong...but what's the sumthing ?? lol...
yeah..i like to wondering around...n the thing i like to do most is do nothing...then i starting to think now...wat for i create this blog n write all these rubbish here with my sux english ?? lol...i dunno..i have no reason..yeah..i hate reasons !!! since we r young..we were trained to give a reason on watever we do..y u do this ?? huh ?? y u dun wan to go ?? huh ?? y u so naughty ?? huh ?? hello ~~~ how come i know y i am so naughty..have to ask my mama ler...hehe...i jsut dun like all these..but sometimes i would like to ask ppl...zuo me leh ?? hehe...however..in da real life..sometimes we need reasons so that ppl will support..accept..give opinion on wat we do....+.+''
n i know i like here...u know y ?? cos i need no reason to be here..this is my place...nobody is going to ask me y y y....i can just write n put watever i like...i can use the colours i prefer....i need not care for the grammar mistakes...n i can use ...... as much as possible...lalalalalalalala ~~~ this is my place...n of coz for those r willing n sincere to be my friends....welcome to my place ~~ ^_^

- LoveLy NeCkLaCe - (transfered from friendster blog, 9/5/05)

yeah...a nice necklace..right ??
i like it soooooooo much..muaks muaks....hehe ~
it's not mine...FOR NOW...
put it here just to remind me myself n some1 else...
IT WILL BECOME MINE SOON !! hehehehehehe ~~~

- 1sT DaY iN bLoG - (transfered from friendster blog,9/5/05)

hi every1..finally i got my 1st personal blog today..i duno wat to write here but i think i can just write something nonsense or anything happen in my life that I would like to record down..
9/5/05...i get starting with my blog today n i am sick..damn..i am thinking that will my classmates come here n say "ponteng gal"...haha...which is a name they like to call me..i dunno y..cos i seldom ponteng...hehe...sigh...feel like there is a boom in my throat..my dear frens...drink lots of water ya...cos i dun wan u falling illness like me..pity me ~ =(
called jieying just now but the little kid answered my call..well..i dunno what is she(or he ar?) talking about...hehe..i asked..jieying jie jie neh? n the kid answered..ainoyeeyoo...my goodness..what's that ? haha..then i said..jieying jie jie oi oi ar ? she said..ah..oi oi...then i said byebye ar...n b4 i end da call..i heard there is a lady’s voice behind...*shouting*..haha..is that jieying or her mom ? lol..i dunno..but i know that's funny to talk with a kid..though i cant understand it well...yeah ~ i love kidsssss........
OMG....is this wat i should write in my blog ?? i have no idea at all...i am just trying to write watever appear in my mind now...i gonna stop here...cos i am lazy...hehe...til the next post of my blog...i dunno when it will be 'borned'....yeah..i admit d wat..i am lazy !! hehe...c ya..when i am in a good mood to be here again..muaksss ~

- FiNaLLy .. -

finally i got my own blog page here...thank Q very much to JASON LIOH...for helping me so much...hehe..

this is not the 1st day i blogging..actually i got 1 blog b4..which is in the friendster blog..i had decided for times that to create a own blog outside of friendster...but u know..i am not so expert in computer...or may be i cant even control it well..so i delay it..cos...i dun wan my blog so 'xia soi' 1 lar...others' blog so excellence 1..so beautiful...with anything that they like...look at jason's blog..got beautiful girl as the background somemore...hehe...mine is empty empty 1 o..pity me ~

but now i am thinking...who cares ?? this is my blog..i just wan to write down something that happen in my life..my mood..n anything that i want to write down..rite ?? let it be empty...let it be simple..let it be x beautiful....but it's still mine....with the words...from the bottom of my heart....so then...i will transfer all the words from my friendster blog to here...and this is still my world......